Banyan Blog
Addiction or an Everyday Compulsion?
Addiction is a word that has been thrown around a lot over the past decade. You hear it all the time. “I’m addicted to chocolate” or buying new clothes, or working too much, or video...
3 Signs You are Holding onto Control in Your Recovery
One of the most important concepts in early recovery is surrender. In active addiction, we try to control everything in our world. This includes trying to maintain the appearances, maintaining a secret life, or avoiding any...
How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Addiction
Trying to decide if, when, and how you should tell your kids about your/your partner’s sex addiction are complicated decisions. There are many factors that impact the decisions including: what they already know, their...
The Cheater vs. The Sex Addict
Many times, I’ve heard sexual addiction be referred to as “people who are...
Partner Betrayal Trauma – Where’s the Support?
You just found out you’re the partner of a sex addict. You’re in shock,...
Could I have PTSD?
PTSD Caused by Relational Trauma An “Invisible” Disorder that Can go...
5 Tips for Maintaining Recovery During COVID-19
We keep hearing about this “unprecedented” time in our world. In this...
Respecting and Responding to Your Partner’s Boundaries after Discovery (for Addicts)
Here are 6 ways you can better respond to your partner’s boundaries:...
Using Your Values to Shape your Boundaries
A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts Setting healthy boundaries is...
Holiday Cheer Vs. Reality for Female Partners
Holiday cheer is what most people look forward to every year. The...
The Domestic Violence Cycle
As with many repeating patterns, domestic violence has a cyclical nature...
DARVO: Understanding a gaslighting strategy of reversing blame
Deny Attack Reverse Victim Offender Most of us don’t enter...
Examining your Childhood…
Blaming Parents vs. Acknowledging the Past - What's the Difference?...
Construyendo Empatía Hacia tu Pareja
Escrito en inglés por Julia Alperovich, LMFT, CSAT-C. Adaptado al...
Intensity vs. Intimacy
The Unfulfilling Promise of Sex Addiction and How We Recover ...
Building Empathy For Your Partner
by Julia Alperovich, MS, LMFT, CSAT-C So...you’re in recovery. You...
So You Just Got Busted… NOW WHAT?
by Dairek Morgan, LMFT, CSAT The moment has finally come where...
Surviving the Holidays
Getting through a Season that’s Lost its Cheer by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC,...
Learning the Language of Empathy
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I'm often asked, "How do...
STAYING after Infidelity – The New Scarlet Letter
Partners have been sharing this theme with me for some time, so in the...
The Language of Lying
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S For anyone reading this...
Sexual Addiction – Fact or Fiction?
The subject of sexual addiction provokes a range of responses, from...
How does online porn affect us?
Is there really any other kind of pornography these days? Of course...
Is it Multidimensional Trauma or is it Co-Addiction?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S A fellow APSATS...
12 step groups for those impacted by sex addiction
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S So what's the deal with...
A Guided Imagery for the Journey
Here is a guided meditation adapted from The Betrayal Bond (Carnes, 1997,...
How to Keep Your Kids Out of the Middle
Sex addiction can have devastating effects on families, but the lasting...
Step 10 & 11: Building a Daily Recovery Program
If you’re in a recovery program, you’ve probably heard people talk a lot...
COVID-19 Resource Guide
Download COVID-19 Resource Guide Our world has been thrown into...
The Two Main Tasks for Recovery: Sobriety and Relational Healing
However you got here, you’ve started a journey of recovery from sexual...
Boundaries after Sex Addiction Discovery
Most of us, particularly if we’ve been in any kind of counseling, are...
Gentle New Year’s Resolutions
Finding hope when it feels hopeless by a Partner First, full...
Stronger Than Hate
As a Jew living in America, it saddens and terrifies me to acknowledge...
An Interview with Domestic Violence Expert Brianne Baker, LMFT
In light of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I...
Sex Addiction vs. Love Addiction
Many people come to therapy for addictive behavior, but have a difficult...
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a term that has gained popularity in recent years. We hear...
Beginning to Define Healthy Sexuality
Clients will often come into the office carrying concerns about...
¿La Adicción Sexual – Un Hecho o Ficción?
Publicado en Ingles por Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, CCPS, CSAT-S. Adaptado al...
3 Tips for Coming Back from the Brink
How to fall back in love when you’re no longer “in love” by Dan Drake,...
HE’S the One with the Addiction – Why do I Need Therapy?
Why Partner’s of Addicts need support too... by Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC,...
WE NEED YOUR HELP!
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I'm working with a couple...
New Book Coming out – Early 2017!
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S There's so much to say about...
Gaslighting
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Gaslighting is a form of...
Partners Finding Their Voice
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S "Heaven has no rage like...
A Call to Men
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S This TED talk from Tony...
Resources for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I recently spoke with...
So how do I start this recovery thing?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S How time flies... I've...
How much masturbation is too much?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Yes, I said it. ...
PATHOS Screening for Sex Addiction
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Here's another article I...
Shame and Narcissism in Sex Addiction
Narcissism is a common buzzword that seems to have been coming up a lot...
The Cycle of Abuse in Narcissist Victim Syndrome
In a previous blog Narcissist Victim Syndrome (October 2018), Katie...
Revisiting Boundaries During COVID-19
COVID-19 has forced us all to adjust to life in new ways. That means that...
So He Needs You to be His Mom and then Later Resents You for it…
An impossible role for partners of sex addicts If you’re a partner...
Setting Boundaries to Help You Heal
A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts If you are a partner of a sex...
A New Year, A New Resolution
Rethinking making resolutions when you are in sex addiction recovery...
Narcissistic Victim Syndrome
If someone is in or has been in a relationship with someone who is a...
Domestic Violence
Myths vs. Reality When I think of domestic violence (DV), I often think...
Core Fears for Partners
A partner’s choice to stay in a relationship with a sex addict is...
Co-parenting in the Midst of Sex Addiction Discovery
A Guide for Partners If you recently discovered your partner’s sex...
La Detección de la Adicción al Sexo
Publicado en Ingles por Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, CCPS, CSAT-S. Adaptado al...
Taking in the Intake
Understanding the Intake Process and Getting Started with Therapy by Cira...
Grounding for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Katie Sanford, LPCC, CCPS-C Valentine’s Day is here and it may...
As an Addict, why do I need an Intensive?
Addiction is a progressive illness. The more time someone is active in...
Letters from a Sex Addict is Here!
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S The book I co-authored...
Election 2016?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S So what do you think of...
Sex Sells – Who Pays the Price?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S The organization...
Are partners of sex addicts as “sick as their husbands?”
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S There is a common notion...
Betrayal
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Anna Fels wrote a piece...
How an addict’s behavior(s) affects his partner
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Here's a powerful, yet...
To disclose or not to disclose: Do I tell my partner all my dirty secrets?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S If you’ve been around sex...
Computer filters / Accountability Software
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I'm often asked about...
Female Partners of Sex Addicts: It’s Not Her Fault!
Here is an article I recently wrote for therapists in a local journal:...