Banyan Blog
Addiction or an Everyday Compulsion?
Addiction is a word that has been thrown around a lot over the past decade. You hear it all the time. “I’m addicted to chocolate” or buying new clothes, or working too much, or video...
3 Signs You are Holding onto Control in Your Recovery
One of the most important concepts in early recovery is surrender. In active addiction, we try to control everything in our world. This includes trying to maintain the appearances, maintaining a secret life, or avoiding any...
How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Addiction
Trying to decide if, when, and how you should tell your kids about your/your partner’s sex addiction are complicated decisions. There are many factors that impact the decisions including: what they already know, their...
The Cheater vs. The Sex Addict
Many times, I’ve heard sexual addiction be referred to as “people who are...
How to Keep Your Kids Out of the Middle
Sex addiction can have devastating effects on families, but the lasting...
Shame and Narcissism in Sex Addiction
Narcissism is a common buzzword that seems to have been coming up a lot...
Partner Betrayal Trauma – Where’s the Support?
You just found out you’re the partner of a sex addict. You’re in shock,...
Step 10 & 11: Building a Daily Recovery Program
If you’re in a recovery program, you’ve probably heard people talk a lot...
The Cycle of Abuse in Narcissist Victim Syndrome
In a previous blog Narcissist Victim Syndrome (October 2018), Katie...
Could I have PTSD?
PTSD Caused by Relational Trauma An “Invisible” Disorder that Can go...
COVID-19 Resource Guide
Download COVID-19 Resource Guide Our world has been thrown into...
Revisiting Boundaries During COVID-19
COVID-19 has forced us all to adjust to life in new ways. That means that...
5 Tips for Maintaining Recovery During COVID-19
We keep hearing about this “unprecedented” time in our world. In this...
The Two Main Tasks for Recovery: Sobriety and Relational Healing
However you got here, you’ve started a journey of recovery from sexual...
So He Needs You to be His Mom and then Later Resents You for it…
An impossible role for partners of sex addicts If you’re a partner...
Respecting and Responding to Your Partner’s Boundaries after Discovery (for Addicts)
Here are 6 ways you can better respond to your partner’s boundaries:...
Boundaries after Sex Addiction Discovery
Most of us, particularly if we’ve been in any kind of counseling, are...
Setting Boundaries to Help You Heal
A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts If you are a partner of a sex...
Using Your Values to Shape your Boundaries
A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts Setting healthy boundaries is...
Gentle New Year’s Resolutions
Finding hope when it feels hopeless by a Partner First, full...
A New Year, A New Resolution
Rethinking making resolutions when you are in sex addiction recovery...
Holiday Cheer Vs. Reality for Female Partners
Holiday cheer is what most people look forward to every year. The...
Stronger Than Hate
As a Jew living in America, it saddens and terrifies me to acknowledge...
Narcissistic Victim Syndrome
If someone is in or has been in a relationship with someone who is a...
The Domestic Violence Cycle
As with many repeating patterns, domestic violence has a cyclical nature...
An Interview with Domestic Violence Expert Brianne Baker, LMFT
In light of October being National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I...
Domestic Violence
Myths vs. Reality When I think of domestic violence (DV), I often think...
DARVO: Understanding a gaslighting strategy of reversing blame
Deny Attack Reverse Victim Offender Most of us don’t enter...
Sex Addiction vs. Love Addiction
Many people come to therapy for addictive behavior, but have a difficult...
Core Fears for Partners
A partner’s choice to stay in a relationship with a sex addict is...
Examining your Childhood…
Blaming Parents vs. Acknowledging the Past - What's the Difference?...
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a term that has gained popularity in recent years. We hear...
Co-parenting in the Midst of Sex Addiction Discovery
A Guide for Partners If you recently discovered your partner’s sex...
Construyendo Empatía Hacia tu Pareja
Escrito en inglés por Julia Alperovich, LMFT, CSAT-C. Adaptado al...
Beginning to Define Healthy Sexuality
Clients will often come into the office carrying concerns about...
La Detección de la Adicción al Sexo
Publicado en Ingles por Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, CCPS, CSAT-S. Adaptado al...
Intensity vs. Intimacy
The Unfulfilling Promise of Sex Addiction and How We Recover ...
¿La Adicción Sexual – Un Hecho o Ficción?
Publicado en Ingles por Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC, CCPS, CSAT-S. Adaptado al...
Taking in the Intake
Understanding the Intake Process and Getting Started with Therapy by Cira...
Building Empathy For Your Partner
by Julia Alperovich, MS, LMFT, CSAT-C So...you’re in recovery. You...
3 Tips for Coming Back from the Brink
How to fall back in love when you’re no longer “in love” by Dan Drake,...
Grounding for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Katie Sanford, LPCC, CCPS-C Valentine’s Day is here and it may...
So You Just Got Busted… NOW WHAT?
by Dairek Morgan, LMFT, CSAT The moment has finally come where...
HE’S the One with the Addiction – Why do I Need Therapy?
Why Partner’s of Addicts need support too... by Dan Drake, MFT, LPCC,...
As an Addict, why do I need an Intensive?
Addiction is a progressive illness. The more time someone is active in...
Surviving the Holidays
Getting through a Season that’s Lost its Cheer by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC,...
WE NEED YOUR HELP!
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I'm working with a couple...
Letters from a Sex Addict is Here!
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S The book I co-authored...
Learning the Language of Empathy
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I'm often asked, "How do...
New Book Coming out – Early 2017!
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S There's so much to say about...
Election 2016?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S So what do you think of...
STAYING after Infidelity – The New Scarlet Letter
Partners have been sharing this theme with me for some time, so in the...
Gaslighting
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Gaslighting is a form of...
Sex Sells – Who Pays the Price?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S The organization...
The Language of Lying
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S For anyone reading this...
Partners Finding Their Voice
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S "Heaven has no rage like...
Are partners of sex addicts as “sick as their husbands?”
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S There is a common notion...
Sexual Addiction – Fact or Fiction?
The subject of sexual addiction provokes a range of responses, from...
A Call to Men
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S This TED talk from Tony...
Betrayal
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Anna Fels wrote a piece...
How does online porn affect us?
Is there really any other kind of pornography these days? Of course...
Resources for Partners of Sex Addicts
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LPCC, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I recently spoke with...
How an addict’s behavior(s) affects his partner
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Here's a powerful, yet...
Is it Multidimensional Trauma or is it Co-Addiction?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S A fellow APSATS...
So how do I start this recovery thing?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S How time flies... I've...
To disclose or not to disclose: Do I tell my partner all my dirty secrets?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S If you’ve been around sex...
12 step groups for those impacted by sex addiction
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S So what's the deal with...
How much masturbation is too much?
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Yes, I said it. ...
Computer filters / Accountability Software
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S I'm often asked about...
A Guided Imagery for the Journey
Here is a guided meditation adapted from The Betrayal Bond (Carnes, 1997,...
PATHOS Screening for Sex Addiction
by Dan Drake, LMFT, LCPP, CCPS-S, CSAT-S Here's another article I...
Female Partners of Sex Addicts: It’s Not Her Fault!
Here is an article I recently wrote for therapists in a local journal:...